Tired Of Unfinished Projects?

Raise your hand if you’ve got a half-finished DIY project gathering dust, untouched guitar lessons you were excited to start, or a big goal you proclaimed on January 1st but abandoned by February. Yeah, I see you.

We all have ideas, dreams and intentions that sadly never make it off our someday/maybe list and into reality. In the eternal words of Robert Burns, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

Life’s busy. Distractions pop up. We run out of steam. So why do so many things go undone despite our best intentions? And how can we actually follow through to completion? Grab some coffee and let’s get to the bottom of this.

The Science Behind Why We Don’t Finish What We Started

Psychologists note a few key reasons things often stall out after the initial burst of motivation wears off:

  • Instant Gratification Fallacy We overestimate how good we’ll feel once we obtain a goal and underestimate the work to get there. #buzzkill
  • Loss Aversion We hate losing what we already have, even if it’s time or energy, more than we value future gain.
  • Hedonic Adaptation We quickly get used to any new thing or achievement, so the happiness rush fades.
  • Hyperbolic Discounting We value now over later and struggle with delaying gratification.

Basically, we’re not wired to handle the long haul very well. Our brains prefer quick, easy wins. But achieving anything big and meaningful usually requires overcoming these tendencies.

Why We Bail When the Going Gets Tough

Beyond how our tricky minds work, here are some common reasons we fail to follow through:

  • No “True North” – We lose sight of our big “why” for embarking on this path in the first place.
  • Lack of Planning – Jumping in without a plan leads to wandering aimlessly then bailing. No bueno.
  • Trying to Go It Alone – Thinking we can do it solo without support or accountability partners almost guarantees failure. Pride cometh before the fall, folks.
  • Lack of Skill/Prep – Diving into something we’re unqualified for packs frustration which makes us give up.
  • Boredom – Giving up when the freshness and novelty wears off and it gets repetitive or boring.
  • Plateaus – Getting stuck in a plateau with no apparent progress makes motivation plummet.
  • Overwhelm – Attempting too much too fast brings exhaustion, anxiety, and defeat.
  • Lack of Resources – From cash to equipment to connections, lacking key resources grinds progress to a halt.
  • Health Setbacks – Physical or mental health struggles understandably hamper the ability to maintain momentum.

Life often throws us curveballs that understandably impact our plans. But many times, we’re unintentionally setting ourselves up to fail when taking on new endeavors. Let’s look at how to stack the odds for success in your favor instead.

How to Have Grit and Finally Follow Through

The good news is we can absolutely increase our chances of seeing things through with some science-backed strategies:

  • Envision the end goal – Regularly remind yourself of the meaningful outcome you’re aiming for. Post it where you’ll see it.
  • Make a step-by-step plan – Break an intimidating goal down into very small, manageable steps. Check them off as you go.
  • Schedule time for it – Make regular time slots to dedicate to your goal, as you would any important meeting. Hold the time sacred.
  • Prep your environment – Remove distractions, get all tools/supplies needed, and create an optimal space.
  • Start stupid small – Take baby steps so tiny they seem ridiculous. This builds momentum and consistency.
  • Track progress – Measure and record any forward action to stay motivated by visible results.
  • Accountability partner – Find someone to report to weekly on your progress for motivation and troubleshooting.
  • Reward milestones – Build in little celebrations each time you achieve a milestone to keep excitement high.
  • Analyze setbacks – When you slip up, reflect on what tripped you and course correct. It’s part of the process.
  • Be flexible – Make adjustments if certain aspects of your plan aren’t working. Pivot and adapt.

Finish Line Ahead

Reaching a big goal often feels far more arduous than we naively assumed. Our minds love starting things but struggle with follow through when novelty fades. But with purposeful planning, support, adjustments along the way, and viewing setbacks as learning opportunities, you can defy the odds to cross that finish line, one micro step at a time.

Now lace up your shoes, take a deep breath, and go out there and turn “someday” into today. I believe in you!

How to Change Your Bad Habits

Bad habits – we all have them. Biting your nails, wasting time on social media, snacking when stressed. These repetitive patterns creep into our daily lives and can feel impossible to break. However, it is possible to swap bad habits for good ones with the right approach. Let’s discuss proven strategies for replacing harmful routines with healthy behaviors.

Understanding Habit Loops

According to researchers, habits form through a three-step loop:

  • Cue – This is a trigger for the habit, like boredom, anxiety, or a location. The cue signals your brain to go into autopilot mode.
  • Routine – The action you take in response to the cue, such as lighting up a cigarette or grabbing a doughnut. This provides short-term relief.
  • Reward – The benefit, like distraction or pleasure, that reinforces the habit. Your brain associates the reward with the routine so you’ll repeat the process.
  • To successfully change a habit, you must identify and disrupt this habit loop. Recognize the cues, find alternatives to the routine, and substitute in new rewards.

Strategies to Change Bad Habits

Here are proven techniques to replace bad habits with more positive ones:

  • Choose a replacement habit – You need something to fill the void left by your bad habit. Make sure the new routine is easily achievable. For example, go for a walk instead of smoking a cigarette.
  • Eliminate triggers – Remove objects that spark the habit from your home and workspace to reduce temptation, like junk food or your Facebook app.
  • Introduce friction – Make your bad habit inconvenient to perform. Keep cigarettes outside rather than inside. Only check social media from your desktop computer rather than your ever-present phone.
  • Start small – Don’t expect perfection right away. Fit in the replacement habit once or twice a week to start. Doing too much too soon sets you up for failure (see the post on “How to Make Big Changes with Tiny Steps”)
  • Use reminders – Post notes encouraging your new routine on the bathroom mirror or other locations to keep it top of mind. Set phone alarms prompting you to do it.
  • Enlist social support – Share your habit change goals with friends and family. Their encouragement and accountability helps motivation.
  • Track progress – Check off on a calendar each time you successfully complete the new behavior. Seeing those tallies build fosters pride.
  • Reward successes – Celebrate when you hit certain milestones, like one week without nail biting. Use rewards that further reinforce your new habit.

Potential Obstacles That Can Undermine Progress

Changing any habit requires fighting against years of ingrained behaviors. Here are some pitfalls that commonly derail people’s efforts:

  • Stress and negative emotions – Those familiar old habits provide comfort during periods of stress, anger, sadness, or anxiety. Have backup comforting habits – like calling a friend or taking a bath – for those vulnerable moments.
  • Lack of confidence – Doubting your ability to actually change can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stay focused on the small wins happening daily and weekly.
  • Forgetting to think long-term – Daily frustrations make it easy to lose sight of why you wanted to quit the habit in the first place. Revisit your big reasons and goals often.
  • Social triggers – Habits often have social hooks, like friends who also bite their nails or smoke cigarettes. Avoid these relationships for a period or steer interactions toward other activities.
  • Not dealing with root causes – An underlying issue like chronic stress, depression, or exhaustion drives many bad habits. Address these core problems to prevent backsliding.
  • Lack of accountability – Having supportive people to report setbacks and successes to helps keep you on track. If you try to change habits solo, you’ll likely falter.

Replacing Bad Habits Leads to Lasting Change

With consistent effort and the right strategies, you can swap unhealthy routines for life-improving ones. Identify the root causes of your behaviors, disrupt your habit loops, and be patient with yourself through the transformation process. In time, the positive habits you’ve built will pay dividends in your health, productivity and happiness for years to come.

The Power Of Tiny Changes

Many of us have big dreams about improving our lives. We want to get in shape, double our income, find our soulmate, or quit a job we hate. But huge changes can feel intimidating. The transformation seems so gigantic we don’t even know where to start.

The good news is, that you don’t have to overhaul everything at once. Small, consistent actions done daily or weekly can add up to monumental shifts over time. As the saying goes: “inch by inch, it’s a cinch.”

The Power of Tiny Habits

Habits have more power than we realize. Researchers say nearly half of our everyday behaviors are based on habits, not decisions. The brain is wired to repeat actions that provide rewards. So, creating good habits makes positive choices automatic.

For instance, reading just 10 pages per day can help you finish over 60 books in a year! Doing yoga sun salutations for 10 minutes daily improves flexibility as much as taking hour-long classes. Making it a habit to put $20 each week into savings adds up to over $1,000 in a year. Tiny steps lead to big results.

Components for Successfully Changing Habits

If you want to transform your life with small, incremental changes, keep these tips in mind:

  • Start super small – Don’t expect yourself to meditate for 30 minutes or run 3 miles if you’ve never done either before. Aim for just 1-2 minutes of meditation or a 10-minute walk. Achievable micro-habits are easier to stick to.
  • Attach it to an existing habit – Link the new behavior to a current daily habit. For example, do 10 pushups right after your morning shower. This builds in cues and consistency.
  • Schedule it – Just deciding to fit in a habit “whenever you have time” often leads to failure. Physically schedule time for it like an important meeting.
  • Eliminate frictions – Make sure your environment is set up to encourage the habit. Have running shoes by the door or keep a yoga mat visible.
  • Use reminders – Post notes on your bathroom mirror, set phone alarms, or use apps to prompt your new ritual.
  • Increment – If for example, you start with 2 pushups a day, try to increment to 3 after a week or two and keep going.
  • Track progress – Checking off habit accomplishments on a calendar keeps you motivated and accountable.
  • Reward yourself – Celebrate when you stick to the routine for a certain number of days. Treat yourself to something that inspires you to keep at it.
  • Be patient – It takes an average of 66 days for a behavior to become automatic. Stick with your micro-habits and the results will come.

Potential Obstacles and Challenges

Lack of time – If you don’t purposefully schedule tiny habits into your routine, it’s easy to let them slide. Prioritize these actions just like other obligations.

  • Lack of time – If you don’t purposefully schedule tiny habits into your routine, it’s easy to let them slide. Prioritize these actions just like other obligations.
  • Skipping days – One skipped day can easily snowball into stopping the habit completely. If you miss a day, restart as soon as possible.
  • Plateaus – After an initial burst of progress, you may hit a plateau. This is normal. Stay consistent and breakthroughs will come.
  • Distractions – Phones, social media, and household chores compete for our attention. Limit distractions to truly focus on habit changes.
  • Forgetting rewards – Celebrating wins keeps you excited. Don’t forget to treat yourself at habit milestones.
  • Lack of support – Share your micro-goals with family and friends. Their encouragement can buoy you.
  • Backsliding – Old patterns creep back in, especially when stressed. Refocus and be compassionate with yourself if you slip up.

The Small Changes That Lead to Big Results

Daily reading sessions lead to beefed-up knowledge. Short jogs turn into marathon finishes. And nickel-a-day savings accounts grow into retirement funds. Tiny, incremental habits compound over weeks and months to drive transformative results. With patience and commitment, small steps in the right direction eventually add up to enormous leaps toward your biggest goals and dreams.

The key is to start with the smallest level of effort – even if it seems ridiculously easy at first. Stay consistent, stick to a schedule, and trust in the power of tiny repeated actions. Small hinges swing big doors. Keep that in mind the next time you set out to make big changes through micro-habits.

The Mirror of Experience: How Reflection Teaches Us to Grow

Life is a kaleidoscope of experiences, each moment shaping us into who we are today. As we get older, we often focus on the future—what we can do better, how we can improve, or what goals we should set. However, we rarely spend time reflecting on our past experiences, which are treasure troves of wisdom. This post aims to stress the importance of such reflections as tools for personal growth and self-improvement.

Why Reflect?

Why is it so crucial to reflect on our past experiences? After all, isn’t it said that we should ‘let go’ and ‘move on’? While it’s true that dwelling on the past isn’t healthy, reflecting on it is not the same as being stuck there. Reflection allows us to gain insights, learn from our mistakes, and ultimately, make better choices in the future. It’s like looking in a mirror; what you see can be a guide to self-awareness and a deeper understanding of life’s complexities.

The Goldmine of Past Mistakes

The taboo around making mistakes is often so strong that we either ignore them or punish ourselves endlessly. Yet, in each mistake lies a lesson. The time you overspent on your budget teaches you the importance of financial planning. The failed relationship shows you what qualities you truly value in a partner. Instead of sweeping these under the rug, mine them for golden nuggets of wisdom.

The Power of Journaling

One effective method of reflection is journaling. Writing down your thoughts, experiences, and feelings can be therapeutic. Moreover, revisiting these entries after some time can provide you with a unique third-person perspective on your own life. You’ll often find that your views and attitudes have shifted, and you can use this newfound understanding to navigate current and future challenges better.

Revisiting Success

Reflecting isn’t just about pondering over mistakes; it’s equally valuable to consider your triumphs. These can be as simple as having navigated a tough conversation effectively or as significant as landing your dream job. By understanding the steps that led you to success, you can create a roadmap for future achievements.

Emotional Awareness

Many of us spend years not understanding why we feel a certain way in specific situations. Reflection can bring awareness to patterns in your emotional responses. Understanding these can dramatically improve your emotional intelligence, equipping you to handle interpersonal interactions judiciously and empathetically.

Conversations that Matter

Reflection doesn’t have to be a solitary activity. Having deep conversations with trusted friends or mentors can provide external perspectives on your experiences. These dialogues can serve as catalysts for growth, giving you angles and insights you might not have considered.

Navigating the Sea of Change

As we age, we’re often faced with significant life changes—career transitions, retirement, or shifts in family dynamics. These changes can be jarring, but reflection can serve as an anchor. By understanding how you’ve navigated challenges in the past, you’re better prepared to tackle new ones.

The Gift of Time

Middle age and beyond afford us the gift of hindsight. The frenetic pace of earlier years slows down a bit, giving us time to breathe and ponder. This is the perfect time to reflect, reassess, and recalibrate.

In conclusion, the act of reflecting on past experiences isn’t just an exercise in nostalgia. It’s an active process that can guide your personal growth, enrich your emotional well-being, and empower you to make better life choices moving forward. Just as a mirror reflects your physical appearance, your life’s experiences can reflect your internal state of being—illuminating paths to awareness and wisdom. Take time to look into this mirror; you might just discover a version of yourself you never knew existed.